JUST A LITTLE SECRET…: 2011

1st of all, a big apology to whoever might be hurt by this entry. As usual, I need to let it out so then I wont keep carrying any burden inside. Im sure that everybody must have their 1st LOVE, am I right? so do I and this confession is all about him...

His name is Fathul Muin Anuar. My space was the place where we've known each other, its doesnt take a long time for us to get closed then being a lover. I was really in love with him, he was different from the others guy I ever been with. Oh by the way, he is my long distance lover. We've been together for 1 year and half, even though I've been with a few guy before, but he is actually my 1st LOVE. He ever cheat on me once, but still, I can't let him go even I want to, so I stayed. There's too much memories to be remembered, neither the sweet or bad, it never get erased from my mind. The one I couldnt forget was bout our 1st met, he lied to me bout his shirt colour, I was like crazy looking around to make sure I met the right guy. He suddenly came and surprised me from behind. Speechless, nervous, scared, happy, and my heart beat faster. I love what I saw, his smile. I think it was the sweetest smile I ever seen. Im falling for him over and over again, something that I never felt before. I love him more than every man I ever been with, no lies...
But sadly, 1st will not always be the last, I knew its was my fault...

The relationship ends with pain when I left him for stupid reason which is, no reason.

"I'm so sorry for everything, but I know you'll be just fine without me. You'll always good without me... I messed up once and I think thats enough. We will never be back like before, no matter how hard we try, it couldnt works. I said bout letting you go before, I dont really do... but Im about to do it now, Im gonna let you go and this time, for real... "

Fathul Muin Anuar

Thanks for everything, thanks for make me smile and give me chance to be with you. Its such a wonderful memory, U taught me bout love, miss, hurts, pain, and everything. May you got all happiness in this world.

May God Bless You

Morning everyone...

Today, my day rase sangat2 SUCKS! For the whole day, my mind and my heart dah dilitupi dengan perasaan marah yg cam haremmm~ Benda kecik pon dah boleh buat aku angin satu badan, ( tak tau lah sebab nak period ker hape) At night, cube hang out with my bestie and try to enjoy, but my heart was not really there... all I can do is just faking the smile and try to chill out the nite, and I do it for my bestie.
I feel guilty... I've been too rough to one of my besfriend. All because of the uncontrolled anger inside me...